Sunday, April 5, 2015

When they push your buttons... (Dealing with Difficult People)

image from projectaccelerator.co.uk


Negative people are like dark clouds hanging from the sky before the downpour. They have the power of sucking the energy out of you in an instant, sometimes unknowingly. Michael Jordan once said "Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation." The next question is HOW? According to Mark Goulston, a business psychiatrist and author of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, there are simple yet effective ways with bullies, whiners, complainers, and all those who impose their negativity on you:

  • Expect them to be REALLY difficult - Once you get to know a difficult person, you can get to tune up your attitude and feelings towards them. You can set a somewhat emotional space and boundaries to them for a more harmonious relationship.
  • Here we go AGAIN - Goulston explained that difficult people pushes our buttons to get what they want or get in their way. They mostly provoke us because they lack a skill and confidence. They might also have that task that they should accomplished but can't, so they are pouring their frustrations towards the people around them. You can reframe the situation and set your mind to not be distracted by them.
  • Don't interrupt when they speak - Interrupting someone when they talk escalates things, sometimes in a greater perspective. Goulston advise the receiving end to just stay calm and centered. Difficult people retaliates to these approach and when they do, calmly respond and pick up whatever they are trying to imply.
  • Answer them with kindness - Ask them "Could you please repeat something you said in a calmer way? I kinda missed what you were saying." You can also try get that puzzled look and ask them if they really mean what they are trying to say. Or simply ask them, "You seemed frustrated, angry, and upset. May I know what's that all about?"
  • If all else fails, cut them off - As Joel Osteen simply put it, "You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people." It will be much easier to work and be productive if you will surround yourself with people that has less baggage and radiates with positivity.

We would like to thank Michelle Juergen of Entrepreneur Magazine for making this article happen.

For more tips, advice, and articles surrounding your entrepreneur life, visit Accede Holdings Official Blog at http://accede.com.au/blog. Accede Holdings PTY LTD, the leader in accounting, finance, and business applications in Australia for over 30 years.

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